Friday, June 4, 2010
And a week in Madison, where I got to be lazy, sleep in, spend every possible moment outside, and get paid way more than I should for babysitting two adorable children. Life is good. A high school kid told me I looked like a smoker. (?) I ate lots of delicious food. I fed the ducks.
Mini trips keep things from getting mundane. I like it. It should happen more often. Now all I need are people willing to go with me. Volunteers? Seriously, anyone. Let's go camping.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
I've also come to the realization that I need unhealthy processed food to survive. I NEED it. This past week I've been at home eating "healthy" and "natural" food with no candy or soda; and consequently getting sick to my stomach after every meal. But the first time I get my chicken tenders Culver's kid's meal with a chocolate shake on the side, BAM!!!! no sickness. Clearly I've become adapted to our modern society in ways that I never thought were possible.
Another observation of modern society that came up last night was the dreaded "sex talk." My cousins and I were sharing with the rest of the family how we witnessed the mating techniques of wolverines at the zoo that morning (which, by the way, resembles an incredibly violent rape. The male was trying his best to bite the female in the neck to hold her down and make her submit but she was a fighter, and quite frankly I'm surprised there wasn't more blood). This lead our grandma to tell us the story of how when she was in high school she got kissed on the cheek and was terrified that she would become pregnant. This, in turn, lead to the discussion about how nobody knew anything about the dirty bits until they were seniors in high school or well into college. Odd. It's crazy to think about all that. She continued to lecture my two cousins (both boys) about how they better not take advantage of girls who just desperately needed to feel loved and attended to. (At this point one of my cousins found it necessary to very bluntly change the subject to how it looks like it may rain)
Later on that night after dinner we were discussing how totally awesome and rad it would be if scientists could finally harness and control nuclear fission as a main source of energy. You know, a common topic of conversation. After we had cleared the table my grandma pulled me aside and told me that she never thought she would hear a young lady know so much about science. (?!?!?!) Uhh...I'm not that great at science. But...sure Grandma. Surprisingly my aunt said the same thing a few minutes later. So now that we've fully established that I'm incredibly intelligent, I really don't see why I haven't been more heavily compensated for it.
Generation gaps are so interesting...but I have to go make a graduation poster now so I suppose I'll reflect more on that later.
Monday, May 10, 2010
I haven't spoken to anyone face to face since my exams this morning, and I'm already lonely from it. I thought about going back to the library just so I could sit with my friends and be around people. I'm naturally a people person anyway. Maybe it's my nature, maybe it's the fact that I have never had to be alone. I was an only child for the first 2 years of my life, which I remember fondly....ha. There have always been other kids around. There have always been neighbors and friends coming in and out of our door like as if they, too, lived there permanently. Then I moved from that to a dorm where, once again, neighbors and friends were coming in and out of our door like they, too, lived there. Then to the apartment I'm in now....ok so the open door policy kind of took a downfall this year but I hope to resurrect it starting next fall.
Now everybody is off in the library studying, or locked in their rooms studying, or just plain old not talkative due to some other kind of finals-related stress. And it's cloudy out. I hate being alone when it's dusky/cloudy/depressing.
However, my room is now cleaner than it's been in weeks. I finally picked up my ski lessons money, I sold some of my text books back, I sat in the Bookstore for an hour thumbing through various books, I worked out, I showered, and I called both sets of grandparents. All in 4 hours. Now I've set high standards for myself. Now I sound like I'm bragging.... Blahhhh...
Speaking of high standards, I've come up with some summer goals for myself. Nothing too extravagant, just those little things that will probably make me a better person both physically, mentally, and philosophically.
1. Finish the Fort Half Marathon
2. Stop drinking soda
3. Wear my retainer regularly
5. Camping/Road Trip with a group of friends
I can do that, right? Right.
Now I'm talking to myself. Well, on that note, I'm off to reheat myself some spaghetti.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
I am now fully convinced that unless there is some threat to my success I have no motivation to do anything. Or, at least, do anything above and beyond what my social life time constraints allow. There's a slight chance that I won't be able to major in Com. Dis., aka there's a slight chance I may have a mental breakdown 'round about...Tuesday night. I'm not scared, not as much as I feel I should be. At least I pretend I'm not scared. Like I said, I don't even know where I'll be living in a few weeks time, so anything that dares to threaten my pathetic excuse for a "plan" isn't exactly welcome at the moment. Knowing what I'm majoring in the one thing that I've got above other people, the one thing that I've accomplished that they haven't, the one step in life that makes things that much easier.
There's no use in me claiming to know anything more than that, to pretend to schedule or adhere to anything more than that. Planning things is one of my epic failures in life. I have ideas, I always have ideas. I make my own plans...in my head. Sometimes I even get them down on paper. On occasion I'll share them with other people. Rarely to they ever become a reality. I was supposed to road trip to Colorado last summer. I was supposed to drive to Florida over Spring Break. I'm supposed to be getting on a plane to Santo Domingo in three weeks. I'm supposed to run a half marathon in six weeks.
Only one of these has a minute chance of actually happening; and it's the least fun event on the list.
I don't want a big, extravagant, detailed plan. I don't want to know what I'm doing every week of every month of every year from here on out. But it would be nice to be able to follow through on the little things every now and then. It would be nice to have things planned out in advance so as not to run around frantically at the last second every single time another issue arises.
Actually following through on that half marathon is one of the reasons I want to live at home this summer. It's a shitty reason, but it's a reason. I'll be able to train, I'll have someone to call me at 4:30 a.m. every morning and make me get up to run with them, I'll have finally completed something I made up my mind to do. It's something insignificant, it's something small, it's something that I can do next year and every year after that; but if I do it now...if I do it now I may be able to put an end to this viscous cycle of me making empty promises to myself, of me getting myself excited and enamored in my grandeur plans to live a fuller life only to keep "waiting"...waiting another year, another month, another never.
Graduate from UW Madison. Grad school at U of M. That's all I've got now. That's my grand adventurous "plan". Sure, I'd like to throw a few road trips in there, a couple weeks in Europe, some volunteering in whatever third world country catches my eye at the moment. Sure, I'd like to fully live up to the whole "college experience" of spontaneity and bildung adventures. But the whole 'one-step-at-a-time' theory seems to be taking hold here. Come on School, just let this one happen.
And yes, I know it will all be fine. It will all work out. But it's finals time so I'm allowed to complain, just a little bit.
Hey look, here's an adorable baby chinchilla!
Friday, April 30, 2010
1. This is by no means a 'little kid's bedtime story'. The general plot? Girl likes boy, boy likes girl, girl's brother doesn't like boy, brother stabs boy to death in the woods and chops off his head then buries him under a tree, elf sees this and tells girl, girl digs up body but is too weak to carry the whole thing so she just takes the head home, girl plants head in flower pot, plant grows from head, girl dies of sorrow, brother takes nice looking plant, elf and plant join forces to kill brother, the end.
2. No, it shouldn't be that hard to write about this, you're right. The catch is that you're told to write a ten page researched paper with multiple sources on a three page fairy tale. Yeah, it's a bit of a stretch, hence the large amount of bullshitting involved.
But I'm not here to whine about school, as I'm sure that blog post will come soon enough. (Most likely in the next day or so, so get excited!) I'm here to rant and rave about the 1.5 double-spaced-times new roman-twelve-point-font-one inch-margin pages that I just churned out in no more than 20 minutes; all of which is complete (excuse my language) hogwash and contains no intelligent or awe-inspiring revelations. Then why am I so proud of myself? Well, you see, these 1.5 pages of complete bull contain no interesting information according to your everyday, sane, average Joe. One must remember one's audience. I am writing this for a Scandinavian Literature guru, one who, every time we meet in discussion, is taken aback that we don't make the connections he does between the wording of a sentence and the political and religious goings on of the time. (Personally, Andersen was writing fairy tales. Yes, they had lessons, all fairy tales do, but come on, you're making this WAY more difficult than it needs to be.)
20 minutes later
And I've just taken a slight break from the computer and no longer have any real desire to continue this post. And I'm hungry. But the point is, I'm darn good at making things up. Go me. Rah rah.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
Dolphin trainer wasn't even in the top ten. Seriously? That would be the most amazing job ever! If I were any good at science I would undoubtedly be on my way to becoming a marine biologist. No questions asked. It's still my dream job; if anybody offers me a position at Sea World working with the animals...well sorry little kids, go find someone else to teach you how to talk, I'll be hanging out with Shamu.
Friday, April 9, 2010
This all became a reality about five minutes ago when I realized that I am currently sitting on my couch with my feet up on the table, watching bad daytime TV, and drinking a soda while eating a bag of gummy worms as dessert to my lunch of an entire box of mac n' cheese.
Metabolisms are truly a gift from God.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Grandmom: Well you worked so hard doing all that work. I don't ever want you to do that again.
Joelle: It's really not a problem. We do it all the time at home.
Grandmom: But those bags of salt are just too heavy for you. You shouldn't be lifting those. And you especially shouldn't be lifting two at a time; that's much to heavy for a girl!
Joelle: It's fine Grandmom.
Grandmom: I'm just saying, I have a dolly that I can get down the stairs with one bag at a time and that works much better than having you and your brother carrying them all the way downstairs.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
"Hi Joelle, I was wondering if you could come over and babysit for a few hours today...And let me know if there's anything I can do for you, like, pay you money, or bring you Frosties, or, umm, anything else you can think of, just let me know. Call me back."
Monday, March 29, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
This is why I must restrict my chocolate milk purchases to one pint or less. It's a sad, sad existence.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
I will have access to a piano again during Spring break next week. I'm giving myself 2 days to master this, which shouldn't be too hard if I can motivate myself to sit at the piano working on one song for more than ten minutes. Except I'm changing the ending.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Cousin's Subs, a local venue that has bargained away a large percentage of my savings, has one entrance. This entrance has two flights of stairs leading to the door, one directly in front and one to the left, and these stairs are the only way to get to the door.. Let's disregard the fact that it is impractical to have two flights of stairs to access the same very small porch. These stairs are rather steep, and in the winter quite slick. There is also handicap automatic door opener next to the door....
Always remember to open a packet of Starbursts at the end that begins the word (aka the "Star" side as opposed to the "burst" side). This way, you will end on a delicious red fruit chew instead of a eh-so-so orange one. I continually make this mistake, and regret it every time. Also, Starbursts are packaged Red-Pink-Yellow-Orange, but on the wrapper the "original fruit chew flavors" are sequenced Pink-Orange-Red-Yellow. Those tricky bastards. On the outside they present a visual variety of sweet and tart, but on the inside said flavors are grouped together forcing you to eat your delightful fruit chews with out being rewarded with the good flavors at equal intervals. Actually, we should be able to pick our Starburst flavors. Same for skittles. Nobody likes green Skittles. And nobody likes orange Starbursts.
Ok I lied, that isn't a week full of enlightenment but those two things had me reconsidering what it meant to be human for a while.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
In fact, I think I crashed into it head-on about a week ago; I've been sick, tired, distracted, and anxious. The sick, tired, and distracted I don't mind. The anxious I do, because I can't figure out why. I've been busier than I am now, I've been more stressed than I am now, my friends have been in worse moods than they are now; there's no explanation for it. Regardless what I think about that gut-wrenching feeling that something is wrong pops up every hour or so, with a headache on the side. Regardless of who I think about, from my best friends to classroom acquaintances, it keeps appearing too; which I think is a good thing, in that I'm hopefully not subconsciously churning inside about one person in particular.
The only thing that makes it go away is thinking about going home and hanging out with my sister and brother and all the little munchkins I babysit. The only thing I want to do is get away from everyone, everyone everyone. Which is weird...I'm a big fan of company. This has a point, really, I'm not just complaining:
In conclusion, there needs to be an extended break period for college students at least once every two months. We're pushing 2 months...and chaos is ensuing.
Friday, March 12, 2010
This past week I've been overtaken with an intense need to "figure things out". As a general rule, arriving and going is my preferred method of living, but I guess that's not how the real world works. At least that's not how the worlds of my trusted adult advisers work. Although, I also feel like said advisers have a severe case of bipolarism. One day they're encouraging me to "follow your dreams" and "do what you think is right". The next it's all about "being responsible" and "securing your place in the working world". I like option 'A' better.
This summer I want to travel to the Dominican Republic for a month long volunteer project through Orphanage Outreach. This summer I will also officially have run out of money. The program has three sessions, May-June, June-July, and July-August. Ideally I'd like the May-June session for multiple reasons, the most socially accepted being that job hunting should be easier if "Oh hey, by the way, I'll be leaving for a month in the middle of the summer along with quitting once school starts back up again in the fall. That's not inconvenient for you, is it?" isn't part of my interview process. I'd also be giving up a net total of 2.5 months summer income, and missing my sister's high school graduation (the latter I'm not too concerned with, although apparently I should be. She's a big girl, she'll survive.).
The whole money thing doesn't actually concern me. I already owe the government copious amounts of money, and if you consider the spectacular amount of debt I'll be one once I finish grad school, what's a couple extra thousand dollars? I'm financially responsible for myself and my schooling...so why does the parental guilt still get into my head? I know I won't regret going, that is the one thing I am sure of. Gah...I don't want to have to fight to achieve this. I want it to be figured out for me and to have someone tell me where to go and when and have a nice trip don't forget to drink bottled water.
Then I need a job. I real job. A grown up job. Actually, now that I think about it, this is the only thing that I really want to have figured out. I've given up all hope of making a profit this summer and my only goal is to come close to breaking even with the total cost of the volunteer trip (trip cost + money I could have been earning). Sometimes I wish that I could coast through life and simply call up Mommy and Daddy whenever I needed more money for my frivolous entertainment. That’s a complete lie, I don’t wish that at all; but still, on occasion I can see its benefits.
That can be my new Lenten promise: no spending money apart from laundry and necessary groceries. (I started with giving up candy, but that was an epic fail if I’ve ever seen one.) We’ll see how this one goes.
A friend recently emailed me asking for a few sentences in response to a question to help her with an Anthropology project. Q: What do you want from life? A: To live in the moment, have a peaceful mind, and be seriously injured doing something thrilling. To have no fear, no grudges, and no regrets. To smile every day and have stories to tell when I'm old. But, for the sake of only a few sentences, most importantly, to have a positive impact on someone's life, so that my time here will have been truly worthwhile.
I can’t let myself down, can I?
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
And yet, when they all think none of the teachers are looking, these kids are the most harmonious group I've ever seen. There are only 3 kids that have productive bilingual skills yet it's non uncommon to see the 5 yr old hyperactive African-American boy with (presumed) ADD taking the hand of the youngest child in the class, a 3 yr old incredibly shy Mexican girl who doesn't speak a word of English and barely understands common phrases, and lead her over to his friends and help her join in whatever activity they're doing, never letting go of her hand the entire time. It's one of those, "If they can do it, what's wrong with the rest of us?" moments.
Regardless of whether or not the kids are little angels, Head Start has made Tuesdays my favorite day of the week. For a full afternoon I get to hang out with preschoolers with my main goal being to instill some confidence into these kids. "Good counting!" "You dance really well!" "Tu dibujo es la mas bonita flor que he visto en toda mi vida!" "Gracias por ayudar!" These simple compliments put the biggest smiles on the kids' faces, and it's sad to think that some of them never hear these things at home.
Today we covered the tables in shaving cream and dyed it with food coloring: let's learn how to write our names. Then we took out hula hoops and made human bridges and played leap frog to the Gummy Bear song and You Make Me Want to Shout: build motor skills and coordination. Then we played hospital, during which one little girl had a baby but the mommy died because her heart stopped working and so the baby was sent off to live with its grandparents (yeah...kids these days watch WAY too much TV): let's learn real life applications and erase the fear of doctors.
Tuesdays are my favorite. I really hope this turns into a job opportunity; I would literally jump around and scream like a little girl.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
More people wished me happy birthday when it wasn't my birthday... Oh facebook...
Friday, February 19, 2010
This fucking sucks.
Everyone says you're an adult when you're 18. That's a downright lie. You're still a kid when you're 18. All you get to do is legally ingest tobacco while getting off to the Miss January. Clearly becoming a legal adult is a way bigger milestone for men than women. For boys than girls. Nobody takes you seriously, your ideas don't matter, and you know nothing about the big wide world to ever successfully survive. And...well, come on, that's pretty much true.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Joelle: Enough about boring ol' America. How's Thailand?Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
Friend: Did you hear about my weekend?
Joelle: No, I don't believe so...
Friend: Well there was a valentines day party/dance. During which I threw up for the first time in 5 years and made out with a burmese guy in the bathroom resulting in several embarrassing hickeys.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
I realize you are not very happy with me right now, and for this I apologize. But it's for your own good, really, it is, I promise. I know I haven't been treating you fairly for the past...lifetime or so, but I hope you can understand why and forgive me.
Legs, you have a right to be angry with me. I understand this, and I don't blame you. I've been favoring you, in the sense that you are the only part of me that I make an effort to keep in shape. I've worked you quite hard this past week especially, and, believe me, I've heard your protests. I heard every single whimper and pathetic whine that you uttered as I walked up and down the stairs to my apartment. I felt you beating and stabbing me as I forced you to walk up Bascom. I was going to give you an easy day today, but once we got going you seemed to quiet down. No worries, though, you get the day off tomorrow. Not only do you get the day off, but Mom is going to bring you delicious treats like brownies and chicken wings.
Arms, I would like to sincerely thank you for all your hard work. In the past year as I've sat merely existing, you have magically grown and become stronger, and I truly appreciate your self-motivation. This is a good system we have going. You keep up the good work. I'll keep doing absolutely nothing.
The rest of my body, I'm sorry I neglect you. I know I neglect you. I'd give you some TLC every now and then, but frankly, I can't justify paying any attention to you. You don't specifically need any work, I'm quite happy with you (this is a compliment - be happy!). See, you don't help me in any way, shape, or form. I don't need you to run, or ski, or bike, or climb things. All these activities involve my legs. The activities that involve the rest of you (swimming... lifting.... umm.... not-so-fun things) I have no interest in. I really am sorry. Perhaps you could take on the same outlook as the arms have; you do all the work to look "toned" and "pretty" while I sit around and eat doughnuts.
Please consider this my most sincere apology. I promise I will try to cut back on the caffeine. Maybe we'll only have two cups of coffee a day instead of three or four. I will also try to put more nutrients in you. While the cocoa beans in chocolate has sufficed as a source of vegetables for this long, I understand that you'd like some variety. We'll try some fruit snacks instead.
Remember, it's all for your own good. And I am never wrong.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for sharing your views with the world. This is America, after all, where the freedom of speech is practiced relatively freely and without harm. Each and every individual has the right to tell their peers what they think about our government; which is something that should not only be taken advantage of but encouraged, because how else can we hold on to the "for the people, by the people" ideology?
The problem that my generation seems to be encountering, however, is what is means to "share one's political beliefs." The large majority of the of statuses I've viewed contain no political ideologies whatsoever. Young adults left and right are making highly judgemental blanket statements, not about the Presidential Address, but about which political association is better/smarter/kinder/etc. Do we, as passionate advocates, lack the knowledge to differentiate between a criticism and slur? Do we, as educated college students, suffer from the inability to form a simple argument? After reading the facebook statuses of outraged Republicans and satisfied Democrats alike, my faith in the youth of the nation has been significantly diminished.
The following are examples of some of the statuses I found related to the State of the Union Address. I am in no way trying to point out specific people and insult their beliefs, I am only showing examples of intelligent people who, had they proposed an actual criticism, could have made much more of an impact and encouraged a respectful reaction rather than a dismayed one.
You may have noticed that most of these statuses and posts are from people who disagree(d) with some aspect of the Presidential Address, President Obama, or some political issue. This makes total sense, as most people are more driven to make their feelings known when those feelings are of frustration or anger. I searched the pages of several friends I have that are incredibly liberal, and yet only two had statuses referring to the Presidential Address (and one was talking about turning it into a drinking game, so I've neglected to include that in the above sample). Again, this is logical. You don't watch a TV show you love and then post a status about how good it was. However, if you see a TV show that you have certain expectations for and then it disappoints you, your facebook friends are sure to know about it within the hour. (Remember what happened when the latest season of "Scrubs" started? There was an uproar!)
It's not the emotion associated with the posts that bothers me, as I was definitely one of those people verbally protesting Scrubs this past fall. It's the complete and utter lack of an informed criticism that makes my heart bleed for the future of this country.
Not one of these posts mentions why they think the Address was a joke, or what policies they disagree with, or how they think our government should be handling any given situation. Had I been able to find statuses of people stating that they loved the Address I would have the same complaint: why do you love it?
We are adults. Reading these posts reminded me of the answers my parents would sometimes give me when I asked questions as a young child.
"Mom, why can't I stay up later?"
"Because you need to go to bed now."
"Because I said so."
Even at the age of four and five these responses infuriated me. What gives a person the power and authority to use "because I said so" as an adequate response to anything? Now, had my mom told me, "You have to go to bed now because if you stay up later you won't get as much sleep, which will make you very tired. If you are tired tomorrow you won't be able to pay attention in Kindergarten or run as fast at recess. You may even fall asleep before the PBS Special on polar bears is finished," then I would have shut my little five year old smart-ass mouth and gone to bed.
If you're going to make a remark on politics of any sort, you must back up that remark with legitimate reasoning. By not making an informed criticism about a policy or political happening and simply generalizing and simplifying your thoughts, you unintentionally come off as someone who really doesn't know anything about politics at all. This was an issue during the 2008 presidential elections as well. Thousands upon thousands of students would proudly wear an Obama or McCain sticker or button and excitedly join in the shouting and cheering of a rally, but when asked what policies they favored the most, over half these seemingly passionate students couldn't give a concrete answer. "I like Obama because I'm a liberal" means nothing. "I like McCain because I don't want to raise taxes" means nothing. "I'm in the middle because they're both good options" means nothing. Why? Why is that such a difficult question to answer?
Think of it this way: Let's say some big golf tournament is going on. (I know absolutely nothing about golf, nor I know if there are even any big golf tournaments, but just go with it.) I really don't care for watching golf, even though the rest of the nation (remember, hypothetical situation) has called in sick to work and canceled their doctor's appointments to make sure they can watch this tournament, so I change my facebook status to, "Joelle Bender would rather watch grass grow than listen to the polite and mundane clapping of the golf tournament." I am entitled to my opinion, so what's the problem? It's incredibly easy to rip my statement to shreds, that's the problem. What reasoning do I have to make such a cold blanket statement towards not only the people in the tournament, but the golf organization as a whole, as well as the millions of people who wanted to watch the tournament? If people comment on that status and ridicule my opinion, then I deserve every bit of it. I offered no back up. I made no attempt to defend my opinion. Hell, I never even gave an opinion; I merely used one of the most generic sarcastic phrases of all time to hint at my distaste for golf. Now, had I said, "Joelle Bender isn't enjoying the golf tournament because it is moving very slowly and there is a considerable lack of excitement, suspense, adrenaline, and violence, all of which are key characteristics to my personal definition of an entertaining sport. Perhaps they should add more obstacles such as rabid zombie gophers and sporadic fire holes," then I would have posted an acceptable opinionated status. People could argue my points, offer their own, and I could respond to their points, and offer up more of my own. This is how arguments work.
It doesn't matter if you're Republican or Democratic, Conservative or Liberal, Communist or a supporter of the United States Marijuana Party. Using uninformed blanket statements when it comes to something as important as politics is unacceptable. As cliche as it sounds, we are the future of this country. We are the people that will be making important decisions that will affect millions of people. We are the people that have an opportunity to impact our world. How can we ever dream of accomplishing our goals if we can't peacefully work side by side? How can we ever dream of peacefully working side by side if we can't respect each other's beliefs? How can we ever dream of respecting each other's beliefs of we can't intelligently share our world views?
Your opinion matters. Express yourself.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Papua New Guinea speaks more languages (820) than any other country.
English has the most words; Taki-Taki has the least.
Kamir has the largest alphabet with 74 letters. Rotokans has the smallest with 12 letters.
Hans Christian Andersen was a bloody liar.
Every time you hear a tuning fork you have NEVER heard that exact sound before in your life.
Ogliodendrocytes are a type of glial cell that produce and maintain myelin. They're also fun to say.
The olfactory nerve is the only sensory nerve that doesn't take a detour through the thalamus before heading to it's appointed association location.
Rostro is another word for "face" in spanish.
Agua is a masculine word. Apparently I should have learned this years ago.
Scandinavian countries are generally very progressive, and the president of Iceland is not only a woman but is openly gay.
The Ugly Duckling in the original version was quite the smart ass.
Goodnight Hall is far away. From EVERYTHING.
Engineering Hall, on the other hand, is fantastic, conveniently located, and my new favorite building.
It's cheaper to buy bottled soda at the library than Walgreens.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
- Butterflies and buttercups do not relate in any way to the dairy product butter or flies.
- The Bayeux Tapestry is not an actual tapestry. It is an embroidered cloth.
- Guinea pigs are not pigs and do not come from Guinea. The "Guinea" may be a re-analysis of "Guyana", though they originate from the Andes and not Guyana.
- A multi-valued function is not a mathematical function in the proper definition.
- The same can be said about a generalized function, as such a function cannot be evaluated in some point(s); only the integrals of such functions have a 'common sense' meaning.
- A disk laser usually is not disk at all; only the pumped region (sometimes) has a disk-shaped form.
- A lead crystal is not a crystalline solid but an amorphous glass.
- The Nintendo GameCube without an attached Game Boy Player accessory is not a cube because the sides are not all squares.
- The Hundred Years' War did not last for 100 years but 116. It was actually a series of separate campaigns and battles which continued for 116 years (from 1337 to 1453).
- The First World War and the Second World War were not fought throughout the entire world.
- The Blitz was the sustained bombing of the United Kingdom by Nazi Germany between 7 September 1940 and 16 May 1941. Although the word Blitz is a shortening of the German word blitzkrieg, meaning "lightning war", it was not an example of blitzkrieg but was an early example of strategic bombing.
- Catgut is made from sheep intestines.
- Podcasting is not limited to the iPod, nor does the technology involve any casting as the consumers pull audio data onto their audio players. However, like broadcasting, it is a way of distributing audio or visual data to large numbers of people.
- Heat lightning is actually lightning that is too far away for the thunder to be heard, but generally occurs during hot weather
- Sugar soap contains neither sugar nor soap.
- Smoked glass is so-called because it is stained to look like smoke, not because it is literally kippered.
- Salad cream (a mayonnaise substitute) is so-called because mayonnaise is often (although not exclusively, as implied) used as a salad dressing. Unlike mayonnaise, salad cream is not particularly creamy.
- An egg cream is really chocolate flavored syrup with seltzer and milk. It typically contains neither eggs nor cream.
- Eggplants, although egg-shaped, are not ova.
- An egg roll is an appetizer usually made by wrapping a combination of chopped vegetables, not eggs. It is actually so-called because the dough is dipped in egg or an egg-wash before frying.
- The English Horn is, in fact, neither English nor a horn.
- Head cheese is actually a meat product.
- Grape-Nuts are made from neither grapes nor nuts.
- A Mountain Beaver (Aplodontia rufa) is a primitive rodent unrelated, though fairly similar in appearance, to beavers not usually found in mountainous areas.
- "Horny toads" or "horned frogs" are actually lizards.
- In baseball, the common term "ground rule double" does not refer to ballpark-specific ground rules but is, in fact, provided in the standard rules, such as in Official Baseball Rules, Rule 6.09(d) through (h). Likewise, an uncaught third strike is often referred to as a "dropped" third strike, even though it is not necessarily dropped but it is simply not legally caught by the catcher. In addition, the foul lines on a baseball field are located in fair territory (Rule 2).
- At Stanford University, the term "Stanford Cardinal" is often thought to refer to the bird. It actually refers to the school's team colors.
- Photoshopping maybe done with image editors other than Adobe Photoshop, such as GIMP or Paint Shop Pro.
- Vinho Verde is often supposed to be pale green, due to a too-literal translation of its name; in fact, in Portuguese as in English "green" is a metaphor for "young", and most Vinho Verde for the export market is white (and a pale yellow in colour).
- Though from above a starfish resembles the popular five-point artistic rendering of a star, it is not, in fact, in the shape of a star, which is spheroid in shape. In addition, it is not a fish.
- An inchworm is neither an inch long, nor a worm.
- The English present and past subjunctive do not relate to the present and past in the literal sense, but are so named because they resemble the indicative present and past tenses in form.
- A velvet ant is actually a type of wasp.
- Source: wikipedia.com
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Success 1: I kept getting death stares and angry glances from her as we drove to dinner.
Success 2: Olive Garden
Success 3: There was no bloodshed.
Success 4: There was cake. Funfetti cake. And champagne.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Day One: It's snowing. This didn't by any means affect anything, I just felt the need to share it. I headed for the ever-popular Glacier Drumlin Bike Trail, and headed south towards the river. Not only is this part of the trail much prettier than the downtown portion, but it also smells significantly less like a pile of poo that's been lit on fire. I accomplished 2.5 miles of movement, about 2 miles of if was actually running. So, overall, I'd consider day one a minor success. I was pretty excited about one thing, however - there is no problem whatsoever with my legs. Therefore, lung capacity and endurance are my hurdles. I see this as a good thing because it's incredibly less painful to have your chest burning for a few minutes than to have sore legs for a day. Go me.
Then I came home and had hot chocolate, homemade chocolate chip cookies, and Tostitos. I never said anything about eating healthy.