Saturday, February 20, 2010

Social Experiment

I thoroughly enjoy messing with people. My most current method of trickery was inspired by facebook. I get a good chuckle out of those who wish their facebook friends a "Happy Birthday" when, in reality, they haven't talked to the person in years. To test this, I switched my birthday on facebook to 10 days before the actual date...just to see what would happen.
More people wished me happy birthday when it wasn't my birthday... Oh facebook...

Friday, February 19, 2010

So this was the first picture that showed up on my sidebar slideshow...

...moral of the story is - I've been ruling the world since birth.

The Pros and Cons of Being Twenty

I'm 20 now. Twenty. I'm a real adult. Twenty.

This fucking sucks.

Everyone says you're an adult when you're 18. That's a downright lie. You're still a kid when you're 18. All you get to do is legally ingest tobacco while getting off to the Miss January. Clearly becoming a legal adult is a way bigger milestone for men than women. For boys than girls. Nobody takes you seriously, your ideas don't matter, and you know nothing about the big wide world to ever successfully survive. And...well, come on, that's pretty much true.

You become a real adult when you're 20. Take the -teen suffix off of your age and suddenly you gain the immense insight and wisdom it takes to become a productive member of society. Which is also a load of donkey poo. You're still a kid when you're 20. I'm still a kid (and yes, while I'll always be a kid at heart, that phrase doesn't apply until you hit 30), no doubt about it. My roommates who were just watching youtube videos of Raffi concerts (and singing along - enthusiastically) are still kids. My next door neighbor who has an unhealthy obsession with Zac Efron is still a kid. The kid who sits in front of me in Audiology playing World of Warcraft throughout the entire lecture is still a kid. My best friends who can't suppress their giggles at a dirty joke and let out high pitched squeals when anything cute, fuzzy, or covered in glitter enters the room are still kids.

You're not a real adult when you're 20, you're a productive member of society. Scratch that, you're a working member of society; it's highly unlikely that "productivity" is high on your list of priorities.

I apologize for sounding cynical, I'm really quite exciting for all the new opportunities the addition of a decade will open up for me. Since I'm ping-pong-ing back and forth, I feel as though a Pro-Con List will better dictate my pensive meditation of my existence.

- the "adults" (professionals, businessmen, old folks, anyone who didn't [key word didn't] know you as a child) of society will begin to consider you as "one of them". Don't let this scare you - It doesn't mean that you will instantaneously sprout gray hair, develop arthritis, or need to rush out and buy a pack of Depends; only that after you've finished sharing your opinion with one such "adult", they will consider taking you seriously instead of smiling and thinking, "My, isn't that charming that that young fellow thinks the world is so small and innocent."
- "2"s are way more fun to write than "1"s, which are easily mistaken with "I" or "l"
- you enter the workforce as an educated adult. You look better than the majority of your coworkers. And you're in better shape. And it's not because you're "still just a kid".
- there is still one thing that age legally forbids you to do. Yes, this is a pro, because who wants to go through life constantly abiding by the law? I mean, apart from J-walking, what other seemingly innocent activity are you going to do to stick it to the man?
- your hourly wage will go up. Correction: your hourly wage should go up.

- my hourly wage will not go up
- you can no longer use the excuse "sorry, I wasn't thinking" without being severely judged
- you're expected to have your life in order. Ha, what a joke, that will never happen.
- the expected level of responsibility will raise. The output level of responsibility will not.
- when you say something stupid or embarrassing, the "adults" of society won't smile and ponder your innocent mind, they will stare, raise a bushy brow, and begin to tell whomever is around about how when they were our age they had a much better concept of the real world. Nonetheless, they are most likely correct.
- your parents are less likely to buy you fun and utterly nonessential things
- you feel REALLY REALLY OLD AND DECREPIT and wonder what you've wasted the past 20 years of your life doing, because all you've got to show for it is an exponentially increasing amount of student loans and the ability to say that you grew up without a cell phone.

Fare-thee-well 19, I thoroughly enjoyed you. You made my last year of being a teenager quite memorable. You even had enough sense to make my last day of being a teenager one filled with irresponsibility and frivolous choices. I skipped class. I put off homework to go shopping. I bought two new dresses and over-priced shoes. I put of sleeping to do homework. I put of homework to write this blog post. I gave up dessert foods. I ate a birthday cupcake. (because on your birthday it doesn't count). I put off homework to watch youtube videos. I ate another birthday cupcake.

I suppose now that I'm twenty and "responsible" I should do my homework....maybe....

Wednesday, February 17, 2010


I'm at the library. I'm getting absolutely nothing done. My brain is a giant oozing mass of moldy tapioca pudding.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Well there was a Valentine's Day Party...

This is, by far, the best facebook chat experience I've ever had:
Joelle: Enough about boring ol' America. How's Thailand?
Friend: Did you hear about my weekend?
Joelle: No, I don't believe so...
Friend: Well there was a valentines day party/dance. During which I threw up for the first time in 5 years and made out with a burmese guy in the bathroom resulting in several embarrassing hickeys.
Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Letter to My Body

Dear Body,

I realize you are not very happy with me right now, and for this I apologize. But it's for your own good, really, it is, I promise. I know I haven't been treating you fairly for the past...lifetime or so, but I hope you can understand why and forgive me.

Legs, you have a right to be angry with me. I understand this, and I don't blame you. I've been favoring you, in the sense that you are the only part of me that I make an effort to keep in shape. I've worked you quite hard this past week especially, and, believe me, I've heard your protests. I heard every single whimper and pathetic whine that you uttered as I walked up and down the stairs to my apartment. I felt you beating and stabbing me as I forced you to walk up Bascom. I was going to give you an easy day today, but once we got going you seemed to quiet down. No worries, though, you get the day off tomorrow. Not only do you get the day off, but Mom is going to bring you delicious treats like brownies and chicken wings.

Arms, I would like to sincerely thank you for all your hard work. In the past year as I've sat merely existing, you have magically grown and become stronger, and I truly appreciate your self-motivation. This is a good system we have going. You keep up the good work. I'll keep doing absolutely nothing.

The rest of my body, I'm sorry I neglect you. I know I neglect you. I'd give you some TLC every now and then, but frankly, I can't justify paying any attention to you. You don't specifically need any work, I'm quite happy with you (this is a compliment - be happy!). See, you don't help me in any way, shape, or form. I don't need you to run, or ski, or bike, or climb things. All these activities involve my legs. The activities that involve the rest of you (swimming... lifting.... umm.... not-so-fun things) I have no interest in. I really am sorry. Perhaps you could take on the same outlook as the arms have; you do all the work to look "toned" and "pretty" while I sit around and eat doughnuts.

Please consider this my most sincere apology. I promise I will try to cut back on the caffeine. Maybe we'll only have two cups of coffee a day instead of three or four. I will also try to put more nutrients in you. While the cocoa beans in chocolate has sufficed as a source of vegetables for this long, I understand that you'd like some variety. We'll try some fruit snacks instead.

Remember, it's all for your own good. And I am never wrong.



Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Notes of a Dedicated Student

I have a Neurology exam on Thursday.
Here's my notes from today's review session:

Sunday, February 7, 2010

In Memory of Bailey and Alan Calvillo

Rest in peace Bailey and Alan. Send Wendy and the kids the strength to survive yet another difficult and heart-breaking day without you. Always remembered. Never forgotten.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Panda Dog

This dog looks like a panda! Ha!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Sudden Inspiration

I'm currently sitting by the window on the top floor of the library, coffee in hand, listening to Claire de Lune and pondering the physics of heavy machinery, specifically the multiple cranes swinging mere inches away from my face. I feel as if I should now say something inspirational or share the epiphany this tranquility has offered. Except the scene in my head keeps switching back and forth between a concert hall and a log cabin with a roaring fire. Why? I have no idea. Nothing revelational there. That's just what happens when I stare out windows and listen to classical music.