Monday, March 22, 2010

The Things One Notices in College

This past week has been one of profound enlightenment (well, not really enlightenment, I suppose, since I've yet to discover the answers, but more quizzical enlightenment), and since I'm a pretty nice person, I'll share it with you.

Cousin's Subs, a local venue that has bargained away a large percentage of my savings, has one entrance. This entrance has two flights of stairs leading to the door, one directly in front and one to the left, and these stairs are the only way to get to the door.. Let's disregard the fact that it is impractical to have two flights of stairs to access the same very small porch. These stairs are rather steep, and in the winter quite slick. There is also handicap automatic door opener next to the door....

Always remember to open a packet of Starbursts at the end that begins the word (aka the "Star" side as opposed to the "burst" side). This way, you will end on a delicious red fruit chew instead of a eh-so-so orange one. I continually make this mistake, and regret it every time. Also, Starbursts are packaged Red-Pink-Yellow-Orange, but on the wrapper the "original fruit chew flavors" are sequenced Pink-Orange-Red-Yellow. Those tricky bastards. On the outside they present a visual variety of sweet and tart, but on the inside said flavors are grouped together forcing you to eat your delightful fruit chews with out being rewarded with the good flavors at equal intervals. Actually, we should be able to pick our Starburst flavors. Same for skittles. Nobody likes green Skittles. And nobody likes orange Starbursts.

Ok I lied, that isn't a week full of enlightenment but those two things had me reconsidering what it meant to be human for a while.

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