Monday, March 29, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
This is why I must restrict my chocolate milk purchases to one pint or less. It's a sad, sad existence.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
I will have access to a piano again during Spring break next week. I'm giving myself 2 days to master this, which shouldn't be too hard if I can motivate myself to sit at the piano working on one song for more than ten minutes. Except I'm changing the ending.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Cousin's Subs, a local venue that has bargained away a large percentage of my savings, has one entrance. This entrance has two flights of stairs leading to the door, one directly in front and one to the left, and these stairs are the only way to get to the door.. Let's disregard the fact that it is impractical to have two flights of stairs to access the same very small porch. These stairs are rather steep, and in the winter quite slick. There is also handicap automatic door opener next to the door....
Always remember to open a packet of Starbursts at the end that begins the word (aka the "Star" side as opposed to the "burst" side). This way, you will end on a delicious red fruit chew instead of a eh-so-so orange one. I continually make this mistake, and regret it every time. Also, Starbursts are packaged Red-Pink-Yellow-Orange, but on the wrapper the "original fruit chew flavors" are sequenced Pink-Orange-Red-Yellow. Those tricky bastards. On the outside they present a visual variety of sweet and tart, but on the inside said flavors are grouped together forcing you to eat your delightful fruit chews with out being rewarded with the good flavors at equal intervals. Actually, we should be able to pick our Starburst flavors. Same for skittles. Nobody likes green Skittles. And nobody likes orange Starbursts.
Ok I lied, that isn't a week full of enlightenment but those two things had me reconsidering what it meant to be human for a while.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
In fact, I think I crashed into it head-on about a week ago; I've been sick, tired, distracted, and anxious. The sick, tired, and distracted I don't mind. The anxious I do, because I can't figure out why. I've been busier than I am now, I've been more stressed than I am now, my friends have been in worse moods than they are now; there's no explanation for it. Regardless what I think about that gut-wrenching feeling that something is wrong pops up every hour or so, with a headache on the side. Regardless of who I think about, from my best friends to classroom acquaintances, it keeps appearing too; which I think is a good thing, in that I'm hopefully not subconsciously churning inside about one person in particular.
The only thing that makes it go away is thinking about going home and hanging out with my sister and brother and all the little munchkins I babysit. The only thing I want to do is get away from everyone, everyone everyone. Which is weird...I'm a big fan of company. This has a point, really, I'm not just complaining:
In conclusion, there needs to be an extended break period for college students at least once every two months. We're pushing 2 months...and chaos is ensuing.
Friday, March 12, 2010
This past week I've been overtaken with an intense need to "figure things out". As a general rule, arriving and going is my preferred method of living, but I guess that's not how the real world works. At least that's not how the worlds of my trusted adult advisers work. Although, I also feel like said advisers have a severe case of bipolarism. One day they're encouraging me to "follow your dreams" and "do what you think is right". The next it's all about "being responsible" and "securing your place in the working world". I like option 'A' better.
This summer I want to travel to the Dominican Republic for a month long volunteer project through Orphanage Outreach. This summer I will also officially have run out of money. The program has three sessions, May-June, June-July, and July-August. Ideally I'd like the May-June session for multiple reasons, the most socially accepted being that job hunting should be easier if "Oh hey, by the way, I'll be leaving for a month in the middle of the summer along with quitting once school starts back up again in the fall. That's not inconvenient for you, is it?" isn't part of my interview process. I'd also be giving up a net total of 2.5 months summer income, and missing my sister's high school graduation (the latter I'm not too concerned with, although apparently I should be. She's a big girl, she'll survive.).
The whole money thing doesn't actually concern me. I already owe the government copious amounts of money, and if you consider the spectacular amount of debt I'll be one once I finish grad school, what's a couple extra thousand dollars? I'm financially responsible for myself and my schooling...so why does the parental guilt still get into my head? I know I won't regret going, that is the one thing I am sure of. Gah...I don't want to have to fight to achieve this. I want it to be figured out for me and to have someone tell me where to go and when and have a nice trip don't forget to drink bottled water.
Then I need a job. I real job. A grown up job. Actually, now that I think about it, this is the only thing that I really want to have figured out. I've given up all hope of making a profit this summer and my only goal is to come close to breaking even with the total cost of the volunteer trip (trip cost + money I could have been earning). Sometimes I wish that I could coast through life and simply call up Mommy and Daddy whenever I needed more money for my frivolous entertainment. That’s a complete lie, I don’t wish that at all; but still, on occasion I can see its benefits.
That can be my new Lenten promise: no spending money apart from laundry and necessary groceries. (I started with giving up candy, but that was an epic fail if I’ve ever seen one.) We’ll see how this one goes.
A friend recently emailed me asking for a few sentences in response to a question to help her with an Anthropology project. Q: What do you want from life? A: To live in the moment, have a peaceful mind, and be seriously injured doing something thrilling. To have no fear, no grudges, and no regrets. To smile every day and have stories to tell when I'm old. But, for the sake of only a few sentences, most importantly, to have a positive impact on someone's life, so that my time here will have been truly worthwhile.
I can’t let myself down, can I?
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
And yet, when they all think none of the teachers are looking, these kids are the most harmonious group I've ever seen. There are only 3 kids that have productive bilingual skills yet it's non uncommon to see the 5 yr old hyperactive African-American boy with (presumed) ADD taking the hand of the youngest child in the class, a 3 yr old incredibly shy Mexican girl who doesn't speak a word of English and barely understands common phrases, and lead her over to his friends and help her join in whatever activity they're doing, never letting go of her hand the entire time. It's one of those, "If they can do it, what's wrong with the rest of us?" moments.
Regardless of whether or not the kids are little angels, Head Start has made Tuesdays my favorite day of the week. For a full afternoon I get to hang out with preschoolers with my main goal being to instill some confidence into these kids. "Good counting!" "You dance really well!" "Tu dibujo es la mas bonita flor que he visto en toda mi vida!" "Gracias por ayudar!" These simple compliments put the biggest smiles on the kids' faces, and it's sad to think that some of them never hear these things at home.
Today we covered the tables in shaving cream and dyed it with food coloring: let's learn how to write our names. Then we took out hula hoops and made human bridges and played leap frog to the Gummy Bear song and You Make Me Want to Shout: build motor skills and coordination. Then we played hospital, during which one little girl had a baby but the mommy died because her heart stopped working and so the baby was sent off to live with its grandparents (yeah...kids these days watch WAY too much TV): let's learn real life applications and erase the fear of doctors.
Tuesdays are my favorite. I really hope this turns into a job opportunity; I would literally jump around and scream like a little girl.